You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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