sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
