Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize