Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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