New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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