Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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