you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
