Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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