He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
