the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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