Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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