Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
