i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize