Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
