I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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