I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
