bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
