I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize