Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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