My hand turned me down
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
