Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
