No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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