then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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