hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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