If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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