I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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