Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
