She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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