You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
