The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
