i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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