i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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