The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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