3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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