She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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