So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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