what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
