I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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