Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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