do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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