I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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