He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
