thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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