I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i dont even know how to be here
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize