why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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