btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
