Well douche your snatch and let's go!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
