I am in a vortex of obligation.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
