"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
