When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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