Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
