i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
