It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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