I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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