k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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