I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
