Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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