You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Two words: blizzard sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
