so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
