so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
