just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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