dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
