you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize