After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
