The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
