I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
