I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
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Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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