no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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