I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
