Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
